Just one of them days...

Hey Hey lovelies :) So that smile was definitely fake because I really....and I mean REALLY don't feel like going to work today ewww...ever have one of those days? I can't wait to finish school and do something I actually look forward to doing on a daily basis. But until then, I'm stuck in this tragically mundane hourly nightmare....Yea, I know it sounds bad, and I know I'm being ungrateful. I thank God every day for my job and allowing me to be able to support myself. However, sometimes I just get the 'I wanna stay in bed blues'...Now, since I know that I'm not the only one who feels that way, my inquisitive self searched far and wide for some of the most interesting, hilarious, and sure-fire Call out of Work excuses ever! And heeerrreee they are....

  1. Nobody questions diarrhea and nobody wants any more details. they just want to get off the phone with you ASAP in case you have to run to the toilet again. diarrhea - the ultimate excuse for everything!-umm eww but a little funny and probably true!
  2. I vote for "I have womanly concerns." Freaks people out and you will get handed the get out of jail pass free. Won't work for the fellas, but some of you intrepid types try it and let me know how it goes. Chances are they'll look at you like you're crazy and let you go too. Enjoy.
  3. If I don't wear makeup, I look like death. Then just put on a droopy dog face and play it up.
    Then you still get credit for coming in.
    Perfect. 
  4. say your'e just having family problems and if they probe further tell them it's personal, try to sound distraught.
  5. religious issue so they cant legally fire you i pretty much do that about 3 times a week.
  6. My kids are locked outside.-ummm I'd only use this if my kids were older than 12 lol
  7. The water company has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come.-hmm not bad, but don't they tell you in advance?
  8. I have to pick up my car at the shop. If I don’t get there in half an hour it’ll be locked up all weekend.
  9. My support hose popped.
  10. My furnace won’t stop running, and the goldfish are getting poached.
These next few were actually reported to various surveys by employers...
  • Employee's 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to work. Employee didn't want to report it to the police.
  • Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible.
  • Employee's brother-in-law was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico.
  • Employee was at a bowling alley and a bucket filled with water (due to a leak) crashed through the ceiling and hit her on the head.
  • I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
  • I'm not coming in because I need a mental day.
  • My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
  • I won't be be coming in today, I've spent my last cent playing online bingo and I don't have any money left for the bus. Don't worry, I'll try to win it back today while I'm off!
  • Excuse me sir, but I won't be in today.  My home is flooded and I'm currently standing on my dresser in my second story bedroom.  Thanks and have a nice day.
  • Hello, I've used all of my sick days and I'm calling in dead.
  • Actually used (and believed) when I was working in Toronto. "You'll never believe it!  I said with a straight face, I was heading here with plenty of time to be on time, when my car tires got stuck in the streetcar tracks! Now, I could drive forward and backwards but I couldn't turn off the tracks. I continued. Now I knew I couldn't safely stay there, so I did the only thing I could. I said, I had to drive all the way down to the rail yards and (finally) drive out free at the barns. Just to top it off, I continued, I'm sure you know how far away the rail yards are from work. I took me an extra half hour just to drive back! That's why I was late for work."
  • If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
  • When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
  • I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart.
  • I'm not going to work today, I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I'm out of Gas 'till payday. (actually used by a security guard) 
  • my roommates horse overate and he has been walking it since midnight, I need to walk the horse so it doesn't lay down and die.
  • I'm not coming to work to day because my computer has got a virus. And my computer means more to me then this job

    Now I'm not encouraging anyone to call out of work, because you're not blaming your job loss on me and trying to sue me for it (you wouldn't get much anyway lol)




     

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